After an amazing day at the UCA Spring conference this weekend, one sentence from one speaker really stuck in my head.

How can you separate your work from your life if you’re an “on purpose” chiropractor?

The premise being that if you’re “on purpose” then your work is an integral part of who you are, something that weaves through everything you do. It becomes something you’re always thinking about, always tinkering with, always aiming to grow your impact with.

And while I understand the idea, and I really do respect the perspective underpinning it, I have to disagree with the statement. It implies that you can’t switch from home mode to work mode, that you’re always the same person in the same headspace, just different locations.

Here’s the brutal reality that is forgotten by the people (usually men) who deliver this perspective.

Unless you’re going to be:

• breastfeeding whilst delivering a chiropractic adjustment,

• changing a poonami mid health talk, or

• nursing a kid with a fever while doing a new patient consultation….

Then you already have a work life balance - usually because someone else is at home taking care of life while you focus on work.

You get to focus on the business because you have someone else focusing on everything else, which provides you with the mental and emotional white space to be all-in on the business.

Practice is different for mums than it is for dads.

I say that no to be sexist, but because the vast majority of women in practice that I speak to, are also default parent.

These women can’t go all-in on their practice, because they also need to go all-in on the childcare, cooking, cleaning and mental management of the family plans. They need a physical gap or a logistical balance between work time and life time, because that’s the reality of life as a working mum.

So if you’re wondering whether or not you can create a balanced schedule that works around your family, know that you can.

There are some incredibly successful mums running massive practices with teams at home and at work. There are also some incredibly successful mums running solo practices from home or another small space, that fit around school runs.

The beauty of being in private practice is that you get to choose.

But if you want a work life balance, you have to create it. Don’t be dissuaded by a man telling you that you can’t separate work from life. You can. And I’d argue that if you’re a mum in practice, you must.

(Dinner with a couple of ladies from the Lightbulb Lab @ Women In Chiropractic 2026)

Coaching doesn’t have to be dramatic. There’s this misconception that coaching is for reinvention; burning down your bridges to make way for something magnificent. The reality is, most of the time it’s a case of tweaking and refining what’s already working for you. Less sexy, more sustainable.

At the beginning of a new coaching relationship, there’s always a conversation about the vision the client holds. I want to know what they’re looking for with coaching, what they’ve tried previously, what’s worked/working and what feels like a big thorn in their side.

Usually, there’s one of two answers.

First - you’re a highly capable woman, doing extraordinary things but feeling entirely overwhelmed by the lack of support (both practical and emotional). You’re already doing great things despite feeling like a ‘failure’ in comparison to your peers. You come to coaching because you believe you need to better manage your time.

Second - you want to take a huge leap to change your life, but you’re paralysed by overthinking and a lack of confidence. Your self doubt has been holding you back and you (mistakenly) believe you need someone else to run ideas by, because you don’t really trust yourself. You say you’re just ‘not very good at this stuff’ but the reality is that you have never learned to harness your own superpowers.

Both of these client types come to me with a very clear idea of what’s wrong with them, and it’s my job to help them see the brilliance and the wisdom that’s right there.

You have already made massive leaps in your life.

Take a look at the last ten years, and actually say out loud all the incredible difficulties you’ve overcome. Recognise the hurdles you’ve leaped and the people you’ve raised along the way. Become intimately familiar with all the good you do on a daily basis. You’re already making moves.

This is my work.

We unpick the messiness that goes on within your head as a competent, capable woman, living and working within a world that hasn’t been designed for you to truly thrive. The wider systems we live in don’t make this easy, but that’s a conversation for a different day.

I have found that coaching conversations quite frequently end up in the same familiar realm - balancing home life, parenting, and managing a career.

It’s why I created The Lightbulb Lab - a small group community space for intelligent women searching for refinement, not reinvention.

The Lightbulb Lab is a place where we each set to work on developing a life that fits our own unique vision. We tinker with our habits and treat our lives and businesses as an experiment. We play with possibility and use the space to see what feels right.

It’s not about creating a six figure business, a massive team or a glamorous lifestyle. It’s about creating joy within your life and peace within your body.

Don’t get me wrong, I love money!

But not at the expense of your health, wellbeing or relationships.

My work is for people who want to take better care of themselves first, knowing that the byproduct of being in a better space (physically, chemically and emotionally) will lead to greater joys than living in a spiritual overdraft with 6 figures in your bank account.

If you’re ready to stop believing that you’re the problem, and start building from your strengths, the Lightbulb Lab is your space to do that.

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How is my body healing if I have a cold? What’s healthy about a headache? Why do people develop anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues?

Healing and wholeness have become a bit of a destination, but it’s not somewhere you ever get to, because it’s a path you’re always on.

Your body doesn’t care if you’re obese or anorexic, it will still take the food you consume and do its best to turn those building blocks into healthy cells.

Whether you love yourself or hate yourself, your body will still digest food, pump blood all around, control hormones and regenerate tissues.

Even when it feels like the system is broken - when you’re exhausted, inflamed and in pain - it’s still trying to do the best with the circumstances it’s got.

Here are three things that made me think differently:

1. You were created from two cells that came together at just the right moment in time - the innate intelligence of your body set in motion a tonne of different processes for those cells to develop into you, and if that’s not something to be grateful for, and in awe of, I don’t know what is

2. Those cells inside your body are programmed to die and be replaced. The choices you make today can impact the experience of life inside your body a decade from now. You get to choose to rebuild stronger or to decay slowly.

3. Your nervous system co-ordinates and controls every single process in your body, in a feedback loop that takes place without you even thinking about it. It starts with the most basic question of all - are you living in a world that’s safe, or one that’s dangerous? And if it’s the latter, you can reprogram and rewire your nervous system with cues of safety that build new pathways over time.

So when you’re feeling like you’re the exception to the rule, stop and ask yourself why you feel that way.

What is it about your set of symptoms or your state of being that makes you feel like you’re not actually a miracle, but a failure?

Because if there’s something in your lifestyle and environment that needs changing, I’ll bet that you know exactly what it is, even if you’ve not yet been brave enough to acknowledge it out loud.

You are a miracle.

You maybe just needed reminding.

I had a conversation recently with a woman who’s been through a difficult time, and found herself surrounded by ‘concerned friends’, who weren’t sure she was really processing what she’d been through. Their worry was that she was glossing over her feelings rather than actually feeling them.

Their evidence? Social media.

They weren’t reaching out to her directly - at least not in anything other than a superficial way. They were stalking her socials.

They saw her having fun, going out and filling her days with joy. She was trying new experiences and spending time with different people. She was moving through her new life in new ways, and sharing some of the fun online.

Instead of checking in with her directly, they gossiped and spoke behind her back.

They made the assumption she wasn’t talking to anyone about the sadness, grief or any other negative feelings because she wasn’t talking to them. She had her inner circle, and those were the friends who knew.

The friends who had demonstrated they were trustworthy, and could hold her delicate heart with care.

We spoke about how there are some people who love to see the fall of others, and there are others who hold up those who are falling.

The truth is, not everybody deserves to be invited into your heart. Not everybody will treat your confidence as the honourthat it is.

Some people will see a scab and pick at it. Others will soothe your pain, distract you from the itch, and nourish you while you heal.

When it comes to what you choose to share on social media, my coach training leader always used to say “share the scar, not the scab”. You don’t need (or want) to share your issues with the world while they’re still raw and ongoing.

Once they’re a distant memory (the scar), it’s easier to take a bird’s eye view and look back with clarity. You can share your lessons, emotions and experiences - if you choose to.

But be clear, there’s absolutely no requirement.

Choosing to preserve your privacy does not mean you’re lacking authenticity. It simply means you’ve decided to set boundaries - a bloody good thing!

I had no idea how much I really needed the Women In Chiropractic seminar this weekend. I deregistered as a chiropractor back in 2021, and the last chiropractic seminar I went to as an attendee was WIC 2022.

Since then, I’ve been a bit of a hermit.

Life has been busy. I’ve been deep into working on myself, my coaching and my personal projects. It’s felt financially irresponsible to attend chiropractic CPD when I’m not earning as a chiropractor.

Women in Chiropractic is different - unlike the usual seminars that are all about teaching, refining skills and learning the philosophy, art and science of chiropractic, this seminar hits at a soul level.

It’s a well-held space for connection and vulnerability. An opportunity to be bravely, uniquely yourself - where you can share your deepest fears, insecurities and shame, only to be met with tears of understanding and a wave of pure love.

Being a woman in chiropractic is just different.

We’re not living on the 24 hour cycle, but a monthly cycle with hormonal changes. We are often taking care of children and simultaneously caring for the needs of ageing parents or grandparents, in a way that doesn’t seem to fall so frequently to our male counterparts. As a female chiropractor, building a business around a family is different to the experience of building a business with someone else to take care of the home.

There are days where I wish I had a wife to look after the kids and the house so I could build something magnificent. But then I remind myself that I’m building the neurological & educational roadmap for my two boys, and that in itself is magnificent.

The thing I love about women coming together is that everyone is there to cheer for each other. There’s no ego, no hierarchy, no sub-groups that think their method is better than yours. Everyone is there to share from their heart and give with abundance.

We share stories, hugs and tears. We share our wounds and our scars. We share visions, hopes and dreams. We share in ambition and inspiration.

There really is no room like it.

I was honoured to be able to share some of my story this weekend. I spoke about rupture and rebirth, how the moments we think might break us can actually be our biggest opportunities for growth.

I appreciated the hugs afterwards, and the messages that came through too. It’s scary standing in front of people and being raw, but I promise you it’s so worthwhile. It’s how we build meaningful connection - people can only love you if you let them in.

Twixmas has a magical way of slowing life down.

In between the chaos of Christmas preparations and the onslaught of new years resolutions, there’s a quiet time for rest, reflection and renewal as the calendar goes out the window.

Many people use this time for personal admin - updating your will, redesigning your schedule for the year ahead or getting a couple of holidays booked in.

And then the New Year, New Me hits you and it feels like it came suddenly, without warning. You felt ready for the onslaught as 2025 came to a close, but now you’re not so sure.

You’re not interested in changing all your habits and pushing for success by external definitions. But perhaps you’re feeling the urge to look deeper into who you are more than what you do. Your identity.

Who are you becoming this year? How will you show up for others? More importantly, how will you show up for yourself?

After years of amassing information, maybe this is the year for implementation and integration.

Perhaps you’re wanting to feel more radiant within yourself and the wonderful body you get to call home. Maybe you’ve spent years orchestrating the perfect conditions to support everyone else’s wellbeing while neglecting your own.

If, like me, you’re close to hitting a milestone birthday, there’s a quiet refusal building up inside you... a refusal to shrink, wither and fade away into the stories of expected aging which appears to be a synonym for decay.

Or maybe you’re at one of the many transitions of early parenting - your baby’s awake all night or perhaps your toddler has hit the temporal twos - and you’re wondering if you’ll ever get a moment to yourself again.

When you make the decision to take full responsibility for the things you have the capacity to change then you get to begin the embodiment.

This isn’t about toxic productivity or forcing your way through real life challenges. It’s about making conscious choices to create pockets of time for yourself that give you an opportunity to nurture the identity of the person you desire to become.

Taking the most exquisite care that you can, with the time and financial resources that you have.

Choosing yourself is a radical act of rebellion in this modern day.

• Caring about how you feel in your body.

• Caring about your nutrition, your digestion, and your sleep.

• Caring about your strength and flexibility, your joint mobility and future longevity.

• Caring how your silhouette looks in clothes that flatter you and fabrics that feel good on your skin.

• Caring for your hair, skin and nails.

Not from vanity, but from reverence.

When you stop caring about the opinions of other people, and how they impact how you choose to live your life, you are able to nourish and nurture what really matters to you.

I’ve spent years searching for the right mix of things to ‘regulate’ and it turns out what made the biggest difference was to switch off and stop.

Instead of needing more energy, I’m going to argue that you probably need more rest; you’re searching to add more things to your to-do list in the endless pursuit of healing and nervous system regulation.

What if the answer here is to simply strip back your commitments and the capitalistic drive to buy some products, supplements or services to support your body’s innate healing mechanisms?

What would that mean to you?

Does it make you feel a bit icky? Perhaps it’s a little too rebellious an idea.

As a society, with the noise online, it’s become increasingly common to find already overworked and overwhelmed women committing to more and more in the pursuit of regulation.

We’re told to be pilates princesses (soft and gentle) whilst also being able to do 10 pull ups and deadlift our body weight (beast mode). We’re encouraged to avoid UPFs and cook whole foods each night while also making time to play with our screen free children.

We’re told to get adjusted, get acupuncture, make time for massage, do your mobility, stretch, lift, eat, sleep, rave, repeat.

It all seems so backwards to me.

I don’t say that to cast judgement, but because I’ve seen in practice both as a chiropractor and as a coach, the exhaustion that comes from trying so hard to do all the things, and feeling like you’re just not trying hard enough!

• You’re feeling like a shitty mum because you’re too tired to cook your children gourmet meals from scratch every night.

• You’re feeling like a shitty partner because you’re wanting to rest, rather than entertain the ‘bored’ man child sitting next to you.

• You’re feeling like a shitty friend because you haven’t been able to see all 568 Facebook friends this year.

We’re living in a completely upside down world right now - and it’s the women who have an understanding about creating health from a holistic perspective who are the most burnt out.

I know, because I was one of them. (And still am, on occasion)

Within holistic healthcare, we know our body has an innate ability to heal, regulate and restore.

One of the tenets of chiropractic is that nature needs no help, just no interference.

And yet, we spend our most precious commodity (time) on all the services to help us regulate; driving an hour each way for an appointment, when we’re already time poor.

We overstimulate ourselves with the unattainable ideal that we can have it all (do it all) with a six pack, a smile on our face and a thriving business, home life, relationship and straight-A children.

We’ve got a 100 point plan to wellness, and the end result is we feel completely frazzled.

What if you decided to strip it all back to the things that really matter:

• Movement: schedule a walk with friends, a yoga class or a personal trainer, play basketball with your kids or commit to a couch to 5k programme. Make it a recurring event so you don’t have to even think about it, it’s just there in your diary as something you do each week.

• Nutrition: create a list of your family’s favourite meals, categorised in whatever way you choose. I like to chunk by meat (chicken, minced beef, lamb) or cooking method (slow cooker, instant pot, lovingly hovered over on the hob). Keep that list handy for no-fuss meal planning, and of course, book a food delivery so you don’t have to traipse around the supermarkets.

• Headspace: what are the things that feel peaceful? Maybe it’s reading a book, snuggled under a blanket. Perhaps it’s a long soak in the bath, or a meditation, or a gratitude journal. Choose things that are free and easy to get into - the idea here is to create a reference you can call upon when you need to nourish yourself a little.

I’m not saying that all the extras, services and nervous system support tools don’t work; they absolutely do. What I have observed though, is the belief that you need all those things in order to regulate is actually more detrimental at times.

Your life is your stress, your strength and your medicine.

If you take a moment to reflect upon the things that really bring you the most peace, you’ll soon realise that it’s the simplest, most inexpensive, least effortful activities that fill your cup the most.

I’d love to know what your things are.

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It feels like October has been and gone in the blink of an eye, and I can’t believe it’s been a month already since I was speaking to a lovely group in Sheffield for Align the North.

I’ve enjoyed a wonderful week away in October - by myself, I might add - in West Wales, staying at a little Air BnB where I slept, read, walked and rested.

Turns out I needed it.

In the all too common hustle and bustle of simply being a mother and carrying out the most mundane of every day tasks, I found myself feeling the familiar sensations of burnout. And yet I was really not doing anything more strenuous than normal.

So I pulled out my favourite book on the topic - Burnout, by Dr Claire Plumbly - and came across something I must have skimmed over when reading it all these times before…

It wasn’t the burnout from doing too much that had swiped itself happily into my DMs, but the burnout that comes from not doing enough.

From being stuck in mundane and less challenging work; the equivalent of a festering putrid wound, but for your brain.

It wasn’t so much that I’m not busy - I have two wild boys that I home educate - but that I wasn’t fulfilling my own destiny. Wow that sounds wanky now I’ve written it! (Don’t judge me). I love home educating, but I found I wasn’t educating myself so much along the way.

So while I was away, I dove deep into my personal values, and recognised where I was forgoing my own needs in service of my family (something rather insidious within women, I have noticed in coaching conversations), and from that, I’ve recommitted to honouring myself.

I have really been missing practice lately, and while this season of life is incompatible with practising, there’s still much I can do to keep challenging my brain and body to grow rather than stagnate. I’ve signed up to the GCC’s Return to Practice programme, even though I know it’ll be 18 months before I can get back into practice.

As well as that, I’m starting work on the birth trauma course I’ve been promising to do for years! It feels like a bit of a legacy project - turning the most difficult time of my life into something that can help chiropractors support other women through that trauma.

I’ve also set myself the goal of completing a 5k by Christmas - something I’ve stopped and started many times, but this time the C25K feels do-able. Perhaps it’s the wet weather drawing in, when I know that a trip to the gym is exactly what my body & mind needs.

And… probably most exciting of all, I’ve reignited my love of reading fiction. To be honest, I’ve been reading so many self-development books, I’m fed up of reading that I have to take personal control over systemic problems. I’m ready to jump back into my fiction again, and god that feels so much more enjoyable than adding a tonne more “tools” or systems to my day to day life.

So I suppose the lesson within all this is that October for me has been a month of releasing the expectation to have it all do it all with a smile, and instead choose to reimagine how I want this next chapter of my life to look.

What if you read this and realise I’m not always flourishing?

What if you realise that there are days where I’m so enveloped in overwhelm that I don’t get out of my pyjamas, and only get out of bed to have a wee or make a drink?

Well, if you realise that these things are true and you’re still here: you’re my kinda person. I’m not one to sugar coat life and pretend I’ve always got myself together. I haven’t - I’m human.

Congruent. Authentic. Transparent.

These meaningful values have become buzzwords in the coaching industry, where people will be congruent in sharing their well-choreographed DITL.

Their authentic self will show up while they cry on a reel to show they’re real (but let’s not forget that they had to take a pause from crying to setup the tripod).

And of course, the transparent screen shot of a Stripe page to demonstrate their vast earning superiority.

In the world of sanitised social media, the conversations I’m having with women are a clear demonstration that my kinda people have had enough of the influencer magazine spreads. And so have I. I’m here for the realness.

Twelve months ago, we moved across the country - I’ll be honest, this has been the hardest year of my life.

Before we moved, I had a membership called ‘Love Your F*cking Life’. It was a passion project because I felt I had cracked the code and I wanted to share my learnings with the world and hopefully to encourage other women to come together in community to support one another.

It no longer felt congruent to be leading the membership, because I wasn’t loving my life.

I was thrust into a new place with no friends, no time to myself, no support, no clue whether we’d even stay longer than 12 months, and absolutely no idea why I followed my husband to start from scratch again.

About six months ago, the wonderful acknowledged my struggle and also the concurrent upgrade in identity that allowed me to courageously persist in making a new life for myself.

And with that, the seed for flourishing females was sown.

Flourishing as a verb, not an adjective.

A state of be-ing. A daily intention. A continual process of resilience, grit, determination and a focus on wellbeing.

Sometimes, that looks like sitting in the sh*t and pondering the meaning of life. Wondering whether there’s any point in anything I do, and having absolutely no clue whether or not this will strike a chord but choosing to write as a cathartic process.

This Substack will be the written version of the meandering of my mind. It will no doubt be messy and convoluted at times; short, sharp and concise at others.

I hope you will enjoy it. I hope I will enjoy writing it.

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